Chapter two

Why online dating you ask?I thought with time things would get easier, every night I would go to bed praying that my mother would adapt to the culture here. Back in Somalia, people dated within their race and religion. “Dating outside your religion is a sin Sofia, it will bring a lot of shame to our family” my mother would say every time I mentioned anything about dating. I grew up obeying  the same rules; I always thought that the only reason my mother acted this way was because of where we were living, moving to Canada to me sounded like a good way to start over. Her rules never did change and the double standards got worse. Us girls always received a hard time any time we wanted to leave the house however, my brothers were allowed to come and go as they pleased. I didn’t have a curfew because she expected us to be at home at all times. Things didn’t lighten up when I entered high school; I still had the same curfew and was not allowed to attend games or dances that were hosted by our high school. To be honest high school was a blur. I had a best friend name Brooke Scott who I met in grade 10 and till this day we are still best friends. However, she never really understood why my mother was so strict; explaining it to her or anyone else was not fun so I started to lie in order to get out of going to places ( movie theaters, mall, school dances)

My senior year of high school was when I decided that I was ready to date. I had a whole speech prepared on how my mother is strict which made meeting her was out of the question. Now that I think about it, the lying was terrible. Every time I went out I had to make up some sort of excuse. Luckily for me, the boy I was dating also worked with me making seeing each other much easier. We dated on and off for one year, I had been warned that he was not a good guy, but because he said really sweet things to me and was my first boyfriend, I decided to over look his flaws. The last straw was when he cheated on me. We had a really bad break up; there was a lot of yelling and saying things that we both would regret. If dating was going to be this difficult, I decided that I would stay single for a while; which I did until I entered college.

Unlike high school, college was more memorable; I met great friends who helped me step out of my little bubble. Rachel, Ciara and Ivy soon became close friends of mine; I was able to share everything with them and in return they gave me great advice. Monday morning we were all sitting and having lunch, I decided to bring up online dating to get a idea of what they thought of it. “So guys, I have a random question, what are your thoughts on online dating?” Everyone stared at me before saying anything “I think its a way for creepy men to get laid, I have a friend who has an account JUST to sleep with women” Ciara blurted out. “I think it’s a good way to meet people. I met my first boyfriend online and we dated for 8 years.”  Rachel added. I was shocked by her answer because in the past I’ve only heard negative things about it. I knew that this would be a good way for me to communicate with people without my mother finding out. With that in mind I decided to change the subject.

People who don’t know me would say that I am very shy and quiet. People who know me would say the exact same thing. I don’t like to be the center of attention, matter of fact I don’t like any attention. I am 5’4 and 145 pounds with brown eyes and black hair. I like keeping to myself; I have a really hard time meeting new people because half the time I don’t say a word. I am the awkward girl who stands in a group full of people and says nothing, making things more awkward for everyone else. A combination of having a strict mother, being really shy and advice from friends is the reason why I decided to try out online dating.

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